Ways To Annoy Voldemort
by LadyLorairiesTheAssassin
Summary: A story of 2 sisters annoying Voldemort. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE! It is pure funny! I suck at summaries. This story should be good, funny, and entertaining. Hopefully...
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Heyo! I'm gonna make this quick. This is a story my friend and I wrote. There might be some errors and we will accept the help. All flames will be used to grill hotdogs. We hope you enjoy. R&R**

**Disclaimer: If you recognize it we don't own it, so don't sue. It wouldn't be worth it, all I have is a piece of lint, a string, and a penny. **

**Voldemort's P.O.V**

**Flashback**

'A man with the face of a snake and eyes the color of rubies (or blood) storms out from a nearby bedroom. His black silk cloak, billowing from the speed of his gait. He slams a door that leads to his study.'

**End Flashback**

That man is me, I'm afraid. I scanned the room with my cat-like red eyes, they land on two 17-year-old girls, nonchalantly chatting and twirling their wands in unison.

The first girls' name is Valissa Willow Riddle. A tall woman of 5'11, her vibrant emerald green eyes follow her sisters' cherry wood wand with a clear diamond handle and dragon heart string core with a cat-like quality not unlike her father's. Her dark purple lips were forming words that I could not hear from where I was standing. I noted that she had a unique billowy figure that accentuates the neon green tips of her waist-length black hair. The green color had also spread to her bangs from the last time that I saw her. She was always dressing in a muggle style she called "Goth". She was quite beautiful, though not a soul would hear me utter those words. I glanced at her twin next.

The second girls' name was Sapphire Crystal Riddle, who had eyes as deep and blue as the jewel she was named after. Her hair was a short blonde pixie-cut with the same color blue streaks that was painted on her thick, full lips. Older than her twin by 5 minutes yet not as tall, she stood at 5'9, with a curvier figure than her sister and thankfully always dressed in traditional witch robes although, they were always the color blue. She too was watching her twins' wand which was black willow with a veela hair core. She too was equally as beautiful as her twin.

Though they are different in many ways, they make up for that with their similarities. One of my daughters' favorite hobbies is to annoy me and their mother Bellatrix. The reason Bellatrix and I had these girls is for a plan of mine that went sour very soon after they were born. The plan is far too elaborate for me to go into detail, but I was looking for a male heir to teach and mentor, and as you can see, that has not worked out so well. Bellatrix still remains one of my most loyal servants. The only reason the girls' were not in school is because they had dropped out of Hogwarts after horribly pranking a fine teacher by the name of Dolores Umbridge with their friends, the pure-blood traitors, the Weasley twins. I will never trust these children after getting into Gryffindor and betraying their Slytherin blood line.

A blow from Lucius' clenched fist onto the sturdy wooden table brought me back to a shocking reality. I struggled out of my train of thought to start the DE (death eater) meeting to destroy Potter, and finally get my revenge.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hola People! Two chappies in one day! Sweet! Okay personally I think the "prank" could be better but I still like it. Maybe I'll go ask a hobo what he thinks... nah he would just say it good so i would give him peanut butter. Well, anyway R&R!**

**Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it.**

**Valissa's P.O.V**

**After the DE Meeting, in Valissa and Sapphire's Room**

I looked over at my twin, who was currently flooing Dumbledore (We (okay I) like to call him Dumblydore behind his back) with the newest DE info from the meeting. Father was right to not trust us. After we were expelled (or we dropped out, whatever floats your boat) Dumbledore asked us to join the Order of the Phoenix. We accepted.

Our job was to gather information for the Order, to stop as many plans as we could, and generally cause mayhem. My boyfriend, George Weasley said it is too dangerous but I just hit him over the head with _Hogwarts, A History_ and he calmed down. Phire's (Sapphire's nickname, pronounced "fire") boyfriend was a little harder to convince. Fred Weasley, unlike his brother, was a worrier about Moldywarts. Eventually, he agreed, only after he woke up from being unconscious for 3 hours. Phire, in a fit of rage, had punched him.

The plan is perfect because we are his daughters (and only heirs) so he can't kill us. We also have a secret weapon. My sister and I have a mind-bond. A mind-bond is when two people can read each other's minds, feel what the others feeling, and communicate with the other person through the bond. We can also read minds and communicate with other people.

"Wil. Wil! WIL! WIL!" I was snapped out of my thoughts by my twin shaking me. "WHAT!" I yelled. "I just finished talking to Dumblydore" she answered calmly. I glared at her. "You know what that means." Phire said with an evil glint in her eyes. I grinned with the same glint in mine. "Time to prank our dear father, Lord Moldyshorts?" "Exactly." We started planning for the prank that was scheduled to happen the next day.

**Sapphire's P.O.V**

**The next day, at another DE meeting**

"Are you ready?" I asked nervously, peeking around the corner. "As I'll ever be" Wil replied. We walked as calmly as we could (maybe too calmly) to our assigned spots at the long, sturdy table. Dad's chair was turned around. "Good evening" dad said dramatically while turning around in his chair. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Wil and I fell out of our chairs in laughter. "That" gasp "was" gasp "so flipping" gasp "funny!" I breathed while pulling myself back up to my seat. Valissa was still giggling uncontrollably.

"Can you two calm yourselves?" Dad said, apparently annoyed. "Yeah, no problem." Valissa said, still giggling.

Halfway through the DE meeting, I leaned over and whispered in Wil's ear, "Can we do it now?" "In 3, 2…" BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! I whipped out a can of silly string while Wil held down the blow horn. I leaped over to dad's chair, silly stringed him, and yelled, "WHERE'S YOUR EARS NOW, BALDYMORT?" I can't fully remember what we did next. I guess I blacked out.

But when I woke up, there was a horrible sight to meet my eyes. I saw mom and dad talking to each other. When I looked around, I saw that Wil and I were in the dungeons, strapped to big metal boards. Not again. Well, we were in for it now. We were caught. I just kept thinking about how hungry I was from then on. Pie. Chicken. Macaroni and cheese. All of these foods were dancing around in my head with faces and little blue hats. How sweet.

It took a while for me to realize that my mother was talking to me. "Did you say something?" I asked as calmly as if I were asking the time. "Wretched girl." Mom scolded "Yes I was talking to you! And you have a ton of explaining to do about that little incident up there!" I made funny faces at dad while Valissa explained the situation to mom. "I'm hungry." I burst out suddenly. "Well good luck getting any food while you two are locked in your bedroom for the next two days." Dad said

This probably explains why Fred and George came to rescue us the next morning.


End file.
